Wenn ich in der Schule eines nicht vermissen werde, dann sind das diese langweiligen Gesellschaften in den GEHOBENEN KREISEN. Also echt, kaum ziehen wir nach Dublin um, schon geht es auf den nächsten Ball. Und zwar der Gartenparty der Fowls. Mein Vater will mit den Nachbarn schnell Freundschaft schließen, weil er dieses mal langfristig an einem Ort bleiben will. Also bitte, wer das glaubt, ist schon mal KEINE große Leuchte. Aber jetzt werden uns die Türen des geheimnisvollen Herrenhauses Fowl Manor geöffnet...
"Wo bleiben denn meine Kinder? Tanja, die muss ich dir unbedingt vorstellen, ich glaube Arty geht sogar in deine Klasse, dann könnt ihr ja zusammen mit dem Bus fahren!"
Manchmal habe ich Angst vor Menschen. Ich kenne sie nicht, und trotzdem reden sie auf mich ein wie ein Wasserfall. Wobei die Familie Fowl sogar ganz nett zu sein scheint. Mr. Fowl, der vor zwei Jahren noch in Gefangenschaft der russischen Mafia gesessen hatte, sprach mit meinem Vater längst über die Wirtschaftslage Asiens. Myles und Beckett, Die kleinen Zwillinge bewarfen sich mit Essen (möglicherweise Spagetti) und schrien durcheinander. Und Artemis Fowl der Zweite? Der lehnte lässig an einer Wand neben dem Buffet und sprach mit seinem riesigem Leibwächter Butler. Bei dem Anblick lief mir ein kalter Shauer über den Rücken. Einen moment lang schaute ich ihm in die Augen. Das eine war blau und das andere braun. Sein gesicht verzog sich nicht einmal, als er mich musterte. Sofort fühlte ich mich unwohl. Dieser stechende Blick war wie der Röntgenstrahler im Krankenhaus. Nur schlimmer. Plötzlich verengten sich seine Augen. Er schaute entgeistert über meine Schulter hinweg. Rasch drehte ich mich um und konnte nur noch das Gas riechen, welches mir in die nase drang. Dann wurde alles schwarz.
Selbstverständlich ist das nicht das Ende, aber erstmal möchte ich etwas zu meinem Schreibstil etwas sagen:
Es ist nicht die typische Artemis-Fowl-Athmosphäre, die ich aufgreifen will. Tanja, aus dessen Sicht das berichtet wird, ist kein Genie. Sie ist die Tochter eines reichen Geschäftmannes, der sehr oft umzieht. Sie lernt die Fowls zum ersten mal kennen und sieht die geheimnisse nicht, die sie umgeben. Ich will etwas frischen Wind in die mystische Welt bringen. Mit Tanja Beresford.
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Nicht schlecht vom
Nicht schlecht vom Schreibstil her, aber in AF1 wird beschrieben das Fowl Manor ganz einsam auf einer weiten Ebene liegt und nur eine Straße in Sichtweite ist. Also funktioniert das mit den Nachbarn wohl nicht so ganz...
Ich liebe deinen Schreibstil
Der Schreibstil ist echt Klasse.
Die Geschichte fängt gut an, wenn es auch nicht ganz perfekt ist, aber was ist das schon?!
^^
Schreib weiter!
________________________
Carpe Diem - Nutze den Tag
Mehr!
Mehr, mehr, mehr! Die Geschichte ist echt gut. Ich bin auch der Meinung, dass das mit den Nachbarn schwierig ist, aber dann leben die Beresfords eben etwas weiter weg.
Ich find's gut, wie Tanja erzählt. Die Dinge aus ihrer Sicht schildert. An deiner Stelle hätte ich aber, eine Gasattacke ein kleines bisschen später erst eingebaut.